Catastrophic Interruptions: On Writing the Dissertation (or not) When You Can't Write

by Robyn Byrd

I have a conference paper due in 10 days and a chapter deadline at the end of the month. But what have I been doing this past week? Driving almost 2500 miles across the country, and I wasn't on a much-needed vacation. I was moving my aging father from Arizona to Maryland (where family can care for him). Last Friday my sister called me in the middle of class, going out of her mind not knowing what to do. He had collapsed, unable to breathe, and was yet insisting on taking care of himself. Big Sister to the rescue! Dad is safe a week later.

And now Big Sister is another week behind on her chapter draft and her conference paper. Like many dissertation writers, I have experienced more than a few setbacks. The very length of the project makes it almost certain the writer will be set back by something -- be it poor health, caring for parents and children, divorce, or worse. A man I met at one of our programs was set back by his wife's death. Another was crying daily because he was fighting addiction. By comparison, taking care of my ornery father (love ya Dad) and getting a divorce in 2015 seem like minor inconveniences. But setbacks they were, so much that my dissertation completion schedule (presented at my proposal defense) seems like an unfunny joke by now.

So what can we do? While I'm not an expert on personal trauma or time management, I have lived through catastrophes of  both, and can offer some wisdom for surviving and doing the thing. Because I am surviving and, ever so slowly, I am doing the thing.

1. Accept that you are behind. Adjust and move on.

A big part of moving on is acceptance, in any kind of bad situation. Getting behind on your dissertation -- like WAY behind -- because of a personal or family catastrophe is common. It happens to the most dedicated writers. Accept it, change your completion schedule, defer the graduation, make new plans. You have spent this long on the diss. If you still want the degree, still do it. But adjust your expectations for completion. You were going to miss being a student anyway. ;)

If your setback(s) help you realize you need to be doing something else? Do that instead. Many people decide, mid-stream, that they do not want to write a dissertation after all. Don't be tricked by the sunken cost fallacy. If doing something different is better for you, even after all this work, DO it.

2. Develop habits and routines. No, really.

You may have been able to manage your diss writing up to this point by getting a little done here and there, or having an informal schedule for doing work. Well, now that you are behind, and now that you know "stuff happens," get even more serious about your habits and routines. I bought a Panda Planner, and started using Trello.com to manage my time and work. The Panda Planner also lets me have daily reflections right on my schedule. Also, check out Tiffany's post about apps for writing projects. A combination of digital and physical planning methods works best for most.

Habits are hard to cement, so using planning and mindfulness you can develop them over the coming weeks and months. Don't get too ambitious. A single new good habit every month could put you months closer to defense. For instance, I have been working on going to bed earlier.

3. Don't compare yourself to others... unless it helps.

Personally, I do compare myself to others, because until recently I knew no other single moms in my program. Of course the other women can do it themselves! They have husbands or they're single. While it's true that I don't know everyone's story, it helps me to think this way and not hold myself to a standard of "five years to PhD" (the average in my program), simply because my life situation is not average. I'm a single mom; I got a divorce mid-grad career; my dad is aging fast and needs help; I'm low-income and need to work a lot of hours. All these things, plus setbacks, make me realize I can't expect to work as quickly as the others.

On the other hand, if you know you have trouble with comparing yourself and feeling insecure about it, develop a habit of NOT doing that! Talk to friends about it. Even people who don't Ph.D. They probably have similar problems at work. And don't forget -- you've had a setback. It's not an excuse. It's an understandable reason for not working.
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Setbacks are not the end of the world, and they're not even the end of your dissertation (unless you want them to be). Athletes experience setbacks in many of their seasons, and they don't necessarily throw in the towel. Stuff happens when you're working hard! Catastrophic interruptions happen at every stage of our lives, they just seem even more catastrophic when our lives are this tightly scheduled. Talk to a therapist, talk to friends, be mindful of you thinking about the interruption and its consequences. If you decide to keep going, your dissertation will get done. Just not as soon as you think. And that's okay.